Backstage Pass
by Lady Morrigan
Summary: Ever wonder what REALLY goes on backstage? Well, in this world, not what you'd expect. Enter and find out... Please R
1. Backstage Pass Book 1 Part 1 The Entranc...

Backstage Pass Book 1 Part 1 The entrance by Minako R Maxwell (A.K.A Lady Raveness)  
  
*Please Note* Don't own the WWF. Wish I did, don't sue or whatever. Also, Keep in mind this was written in early 2002.  
  
Jeanine, Diana, Jaimee and Jason entered the building. It was their first time at a live WWF event. "Edge better be here," Diana grumbled. Jeanine just looked at her.  
  
" I can't believe I let you talk me into coming here," she said.  
  
"C'mon! It'll be fun! You'll see." Jaimee replied. They walked down the hall and eventually came to a large room. The Rock strolled up to them wearing an apron, fuzzy pink bunny slippers and an oven mitt on one hand.  
  
"Hi," he said "you must be fans. Who are you looking for?"  
  
"Well, we're really here to see everyone," Jaimee replied.  
  
"Well, in that case, CAN YOU SMELLLLLLL.... What the Rock is cooking?!" he shouted.  
  
"Yeah, and I think it's burning." Diana said.  
  
"AH! My pie!" he screamed as he ran off. Jeanine glanced around the room. In one corner Cristian was sulking, in another Stone Cold was smashing beer cans on his head and appeared to be playing checkers with the smashed cans.Sitting on a nearby couch was Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, X-Pac and the Undertaker staring at a television. They were watching tellitubbies.Now jeanine was confused. What the hell was going on here?! Chris Jericho entered the room from a hall in the other direction. Jaimee and Jason immediately became starry-eyed.  
  
"JERICHO!!!" They screeched in unision.  
  
"Uh Oh...." Jericho said and then started running back the way he came Jaimee and Jason took off after him. Again Jeanine looked confused.  
  
"Where the hell are they going?" She said. Diana started off in Christian's direction.  
  
"Now where are you going?" she yelled at Diana. Diana poked Christian.  
  
"How are you sister Christian?" she said. He glared at her.  
  
"I'm not a girl!" he bellowed.  
  
"You cry like one. Boo Hoo I can't win anything! boo Hoo nobody likes me! Boo Hoo Edge is cool and I'm a loser!" Diana continued. Christian became an unhealthy shade of reddish purple.  
  
"I AM NOT!" He shrieked. Diana laughed and walked away. As she started back towards Jeanine she froze in midstep.  
  
"EDGE!!!" she screamed and took off.  
  
"Jesus Christ!" Jeanine yelled. "Why the hell is everyone leaving me here?!"  
  
~End of Part 1  
  
What now?What is Jeanine going to do? Is Diana going to catch Edge? And what became of Jaimee and Jason?And by the way, where are the other WWF superstars? Stay tuned for Backstage Pass part 2 - The Match 


	2. Backstage Pass Book 1 Part 2 The Match

Backstage Pass Book 1 Part 2- The Match By Minako R Maxwell *Please Note* Don't own WWE or any of it's stars, wish I did. Once again this was written in early 2002  
  
Jeanine looked around in frustration. She couldn't believe they had just taken off like that. She considered sitting for a moment and then thought better of it. 'Don't want to get too close to those tellitubbie watching freaks' she thought to herself. Suddenly, a door to her right opened and Triple H almost walked into her. "........" She looked up and said "Hey, I know you. You were on Leno." "I'm Triple H the Undisputed Champion of the World Wrestling Federation! Don't you forget it!" he bellowed. "Okay......" Jeanine said. "So.... You wanna get high?"  
  
Jaimee peeked around the corner. "I know I saw him go this way..." Jericho saw them and bolted. "There he goes!"Jason yelled. They ran after him. After a few twists and turns however, they lost him again. "Damnit!"Jason yelled. All of a sudden Triple H and Jeanine came into view. "Hey, have you guys seen Jericho?" Jaimee asked. "No, oh yeah, by the way..." Jeanine said, "this is... uh... what did you say your name was again?" "I AM TRIPLE H, DAMNIT! I AM THE UNDISPUTED..." "Yeah, what he said. He was on Leno." Jeanine said. "Okay... Well, we have to go find Jericho now..." Jaimee said. "Hey, if you can't find him by the time the building closes, you can go to his hotel room," Triple H said. "I'll even give you the room number." he added with a malicious grin. "Thanks!" Jaimee said as he handed her a sheet of paper with the information on it. She and Jason started off after Jericho. Triple H looked at Jeanine. "Shall we?"  
  
Diana darted around the corner. "DAMNIT! I lost him...." She wondered aimlessly down a few halls and eventually came to the A.P.A. office. She shrugged to herself and said "What the hell, I might as well." Diana opened the door and poked her head in. "Hey, have you guys seen Edge around here?" "No, but we're having a party, you want a beer?" Bradshaw replied. She thought about it for a moment. "Sure, why not?" She said as she closed the door behind her and took a seat across from Faarooq and Bradshaw. "You want to play cards?" Faarooq asked. " You know how to play Spades?" she replied. "Yeah, but we'll need another person." He said. At that exact moment, Test walked by. "HEY TEST!" Test stopped and gave them a look that could melt steel. "Yo, Billy bad ass, get in here and play some spades with us. Don't just sit there, toss the man a beer!" Faarooq bellowed. Test caught the beer and, after eyeing Diana, sat down at the card table. *3 Hours, 4 Spades games and about 3 cases of beer later* "What the hell do you mean it's closing time?! We are the fucking A.P.A.! This bar NEVER closes!" Bradshaw screamed at the flustered security guard. "Sir, the building is closing, everyone has to leave." the man said. Bradshaw looked like he wanted to hit him. Test stood up. "Well I'm leaving," he said. He turned and looked at Diana. "You want to come?" "Well, Edge is probably long gone by now so sure, why not." she replied. "Bye Faarooq, bye Bradshaw!" she called over her shoulder. The security guard was on the table and the A.P.A. were taking turns beating the hell out of him. "I don't think they heard me," Diana said to Test. He shrugged. "Let's go."  
  
*Ooooooh!!! What's going to happen next?! Why is Diana going home with Test when she's looking for Edge? Think she's up to something? And what are Jaimee and Jason going to do in Jericho's hotel room? And what about Jeanine and Triple H? Are they sitting around laughing or are they at the supermarket getting some munchies? Where will they go later? Don't miss Backstage Pass Part 3 -The Chase!* Keep reviewing or I'm not going to post anymore of it! 


	3. Backstage Pass Book 1 Part 3 The Chase

Backstage Pass  
  
Book 1 Part 3 -The Chase  
  
By Minako R. Maxwell  
  
*Please Note* Don't own WWF, this was written early 2002  
  
  
  
Jaimee and Jason stepped out of the stairwell into a long hallway of hotel rooms.  
  
"What number are we looking for again?" Jason asked.  
  
"325," Jaimee replied.  
  
They walked down the hall and suddenly heard a series of loud thuds.  
  
"What the hell is that?!" Jaimee cried.  
  
All at once they saw Kane coming at them. They stepped out of the way.  
  
"Did I really just see Kane doing back handsprings down the hallway?" Jaimee asked Jason.  
  
"You saw that too? I thought I was halucinating..." he replied.  
  
"Maybe we both are."  
  
They continued down the hall.  
  
"What number are we at... 319. It should be right down here."  
  
Jason said. As they passed the next room, the door was open and they glanced inside. There sat the Undertaker, Kevin Nash, X-pac and Scott Hall.  
  
"I'm poe and you're all faggots!" Undertaker yelled.  
  
"I'm Lala!" X-pac shrieked.  
  
"Are not! I am!" Nash hollered.  
  
"I'm Dipsy!" Hall said.  
  
Jaimee and Jason looked at eachother and wisely continued down the hallway. Three doors further down they encountered Jeff Hardy banging on a door.  
  
"Matt! Lita! Let me in! I have to rinse my hair NOW! It won't come out the right color! Matt! C'MON! OPEN UP!!!!!!"  
  
The door opened and Lita stepped out. Jeff ran inside, almost knocking her over in the process. Jason nudged Jaimee and began to sing in a low tone "dude looks like a lady...." Jaimee giggled. Lita gave him a dirty look and went into a room across the hall. They continued two doors further down.  
  
"Here it is, 325. Ready?" Jason said.  
  
"Let's do it." Jaimee replied.  
  
Together they burst into the room.  
  
Diana and Test stepped out of the elevator and started down a hallway. She looked around as they went. They passed room 319 and as they walked by 320, Diana thought she saw the Undertaker and the nWo fighting inside. As she passed 321, Kurt Angle stepped out. Diana tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Exscuse me, Mr. Angle? Hi, I just wanted to tell you that you suck mad hairy monkey balls. Bye now."  
  
Test snickered.  
  
"I DO NOT SUCK!" Angle called after them.  
  
They went down three doors and Test stepped inside room 324.  
  
"Here we are," he said.  
  
As Diana went inside she heard a series of loud crashes, bangs and shouts coming from the room to her right.  
  
"What the hell is that?" she said.  
  
Test shrugged and sat down on the bed.  
  
"Come lay down." he said patting the space beside him.  
  
She shrugged and curled up beside him. Within five minutes Test was snoring soundly, and the shouting and banging from the next room grew louder. 'I can't TAKE THIS!' Diana thought to herself. She got up, careful to not wake Test, and slipped silently out the door. As she passed the room from where the racket was originating, room 325, she gave the door a disgusted look. The next door opened up and D-Von Dudley stepped out.  
  
"Hello miss. Would you like to make a donation?" he said holding out a white collection tin.  
  
"For what?" she said.  
  
"I am Mr. McMahon's spiritual advisor. The lord told me..."  
  
"Sorry, I'm a Pagan." she said as she walked away and D-Von's mouth hit the floor.  
  
Diana went down two more doors and was suddenly knocked to the ground as Cristian came barreling out of the door.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?" Christian asked with a not-so-pleased look on his face.  
  
"I came with Test, but he fell asleep and is snoring really loud and the people in the room next to him are making a way whole lot of noise. Oh, by the way, you DO know I was only joking ealier, right?" Diana said in a rush.  
  
"Well, Test does sound like a motorboat sometimes, and I guess we're even now." He said as he helped her up.  
  
"You can stay in my room if you want." he continued.  
  
"Thanks," she replied and stepped inside room 328.  
  
"I'll be right back. I've got to go ask uh... Edge something real fast." he said as he went into the next room.  
  
A smile slowly spread across Diana's face.  
  
"Dude, you're like... Superman or something." Jeanine giggled as she watched Triple H press the elevator button while carrying four pizzas, six bags of potato chips and six three liter bottles of soda.  
  
They stepped inside the elevator and when the doors opened they stood in a long hallway. As they started past room 329 Cristian came out and went in room 328 as they passed room 327, Jeanine thought she saw Stone Cold, beer in hand, empty cans strewn about, watching Nascar reruns. She shrugged and they continued down the hallway. There was a lot of shouting and banging coming from room 325, loud snoring from room 324 and all that could be heard from 323 was running water. They were about to pass 322 when Rikishi came up and said hi. He turned around to unlock the door when Jeanine heard a loud beeping noise and began franticly screaming.  
  
"What?!" Triple H yelled at her.  
  
"What's wrong?!" he continued.  
  
"He's backing up!!!" she screamed as she got as far away from Rikishi as she could.  
  
Rikishi turned around, confused. He picked up his pager from his pocket and the noise stopped. He gave Jeanine a strange look and went inside the room. Jeanine calmed down a little and once again, they started down the hall. In room 321 someone was yelling "I DO NOT SUCK!", and in room 320 it sounded like several people were yelling. Jeanine thought she heard the occasional mention of a tellitubbie's name. At the next door, 319, Triple H paused and inserted a key in the knob. The door swung open and the two of them went inside.  
  
"Let's eat!" he said.  
  
What now?! What is going to happen to Triple H and Jeanine? And what was that smile on Diana's face all about? And just what the hell is going on in Jericho's room anyway?!Find out in Backstage pass part 4 -The Win. 


End file.
